Psychotherapist and Relationship Coach Show You How To:

SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

This ebook is an overview of a skills-based approach to relationship rupture and repair. It explains how committed relationships can begin to fail over time because of the “silent killer” of relationships. This ebook also walks you through four Big Questions that help you take inventory of your relationship, and turn toward the bond you've committed to.

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THIS EBOOK WILL HELP YOU

SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP BEFORE IT ENDS

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With This Approach You'll Learn:

The "silent killer" of relationships that prevents you from moving toward your relationship bond.

The four critical behaviors that predict divorce and breakup.

The fundamental mind shift that must take place before relational repair can be successful.

Communication skills that foster connection, and prevent disconnection.

Three focus areas that help structure your collaborative work together moving forward.

Download link provided after purchase.

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MOVE CLOSER, STAY LONGER

A great mantra to adopt when practicing attunement is “move closer, stay longer.” Move closer to understanding your partner’s internal experience by staying in the uncomfortable feelings a little longer each time. When you need to step away, gently tell your partner: "I’m getting overwhelmed, and I don’t want to lose it. I need some time. Can we come back to this in 20 minutes?”. Then, move closer, and stay longer when you come back. Repeat as many times as necessary to preserve the bond.

WHY I WROTE THIS EBOOK

We all have needs, but we don’t know how to communicate them to our partners with our words. We end up expressing our needs with our behavior, or if we’re a bit more skilled at communication, we might use a cryptic suggestion here and there. In other words, we stay safely hidden from our partners and hope (and sometimes demand) they simply know what we need.

That is when we start criticizing our partner, either in our head or out loud. We get defensive when they ask what's wrong with us. They should know, right? That’s when we begin to notice what’s wrong with our partner. That’s when we start to believe they can’t change because, after all, they should change if they love us enough.

That’s when we’ve lost the ability to distinguish between the person we’re committed to from their behavior. We stand in judgment. We stand in contempt. We stand alone.

The good news is much of the negativity and defensiveness is often a product of poor interpersonal skills (notice that you can learn skills). This lack of skill fosters the harmful habit of mind that threatens what otherwise could have been a healthy, fulfilling relationship between two individuals who fell in love. This skill set manifests the promise that every committed relationship builds upon: trust.

That's why I wrote this book: To help you repair and rebuild the promise committed relationships are built upon... Trust.

THIS IS THE APPROACH i use in my private practice

THERE ARE 3 THINGS WE FOCUS ON:

This relational rupture and repair approach applies attunement skills in three fundamental domains of interaction in committed relationships


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DEEP FRIENDSHIP

Deep friendship requires wanting and working to understand each other's internal lived experience, the mutual sharing of fondness, the commitment to move toward connection with each other, and an intentional positive habit of mind.

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CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Conflict management is approaching your partner in a way that protects the bond of your relationship, and it requires the identification of the core issues that inform disconnection and the patterns of interaction that trigger defensiveness.

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COMMON PURPOSE

Common purpose is one part individual and one part couple: the union of two that interdependently serve each other's life dreams and foster shared meaning.

MY PERSONAL GUARANTEE TO YOU...

My guarantee to you is that these skills, when implemented, will make a difference in your relationship. I know when you take action, you’ll get results.

These are the same principles I use in my private practice when working with committed couples trying to repair and rebuild their relationships. They work when two people commit to practicing turning toward each other in the midst of hardship.


CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW TO GET YOUR COPY NOW. YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU DID.


Download link will be available after purchase.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jerry Wheeler, LMHCA, NCC

Jerry advanced his passion for relationship-based mental health and behavioral therapy with clinical training and practical experience through The Center for Applied Psychological and Family Studies at Northwestern University, the unparalleled theoretical education division of the Family Institute at Northwestern University, in Chicago, Illinois.

Jerry has over 25 years of experience supporting and advocating on behalf of young people, adults and their families, and couples, first as a coach, clinician, director, and business owner, and now as a licensed mental health professional.

Jerry owns and operates a private clinical counseling and psychotherapy practice in Westfield, Indiana, and specializes in working through relationship rupture and repair in a variety of contexts, including committed couples and parent/child relationships.

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